Fun Day Sunday

After nearly a year of living here in Vancouver, we still hadn't gone to Stanley Park. Yesterday morning, after realizing that our vehicle needed work and we wouldn't be able to drive it to IKEA (our plan for the day) we decided to take the bus to Stanley Park instead. While attached to the city, Stanley Park is an oasis, even bigger than Central Park in New York, and filled with parks, running trails, even an aquarium.

Monster was a bit ticked that someone tore the "you are here" stickers off the maps, and we did wander out of the park once while looking for a restaurant for lunch. Finally, we sat on a bench under a tree and read the library books we brought (oh, the library is also super awesome, but that is another post).

Next Sunday, we want to rent a bicycle-built-for-two and take some of the trails through Stanley Park. Well, I want the double bike, but I think Monster would prefer biking solo, thank you.

To Clare

Thank you.


Coldplay Lyrics
Lost Lyrics

"Don't be a Douchebag"

Oh God. Way, way too true. As I reflect upon my first year of law school, I could have used advice like this. The advice I ended up getting wasn't very useful, it was mostly about how to write law exams (which I figured out on my own through trial and error). What I wasn't expecting and didn't prepare for was how mind-f**king law school is. THAT's what causes the pain. Not the work but the mind screw you get when you enter an environment with 200 other overachievers with no job and nothing else really going on in their lives.

This blogger(Grace from Law with Grace, my new favorite website) gets it. Bless her heart. This advice, had I found it last year, would have been helpful. At least I would have been warned. I heart her.

lawwithgrace.blospot.com:

Dear Incoming 1L's,
As your first day of law school draws near, I thought I'd put together a little list of helpful advice. Who am I to be giving advice, you may be asking? No one. So don't take it if you don't want to. Anyone who has survived their first year, feel free to add to the list, as I'm sure I've left some things out.

As always, in no particular order:

1. 90% of you will not be in the top 10%. Get used to it. You probably will NOT be in the top 10%. Why? Because the numbers say so. I wasn't in the top 10%. I wasn't even close. I still ended up with the only job I wanted. I also know some people who were in the top 10% who still don't have jobs. With this is mind, spend some time focusing on not being an idiot in interviews, and learn how to network. If you want to work at the State's Attorney's office or the Public Defender's office, start clerking there immediately, because they aren't going to care if you're top 10% if you haven't put your time in.


2. You do NOT have to study in a study group. Don't be guilted into thinking that's the only way to study. It's not. It doesn't work for everyone. I fucking hated studying in groups. It ALWAYS made me feel stupid and insecure. Try it. If it works for you, great. If it doesn't, then don't do it! It's your education to do with as you please.

3. The first case that you're going to read in Con Law is probably going to be Marbury v. Madison. It's long. It's boring. And if your professor is anything like mine was, you will spend WAY too long discussing it. Don't let it freak you out. Don't let it confuse you. As a matter of fact, the entire first semester of Con Law is not at all interesting. It's all about the Commerce Clause. Second semester you'll get to talk about things like porn and abortion and gay sex. It's more fun.

4. There are 3 types of law students you don't want to be, so DON'T BE THEM:

- Do NOT be the guy (or girl) who raises his hand all the time asking ridiculous hypotheticals, answering every question, and generally making his presence in the class WAY too well known. That's what we call a gunner. Professors hate you. Students hate you and talk about you behind your back. It will get to a point that every time you raise your hand you will hear people audibly groan around you. Do NOT be this person. Make fun of this person.

- Do NOT be the girl who dresses like a skank every day. I'm not saying you need to wear a cubs t-shirt with your sweats from undergrad, but if you wear high heels, tons of makeup, halter tops and short skirts every day, other women who go to law school with you will make fun of you. Save your nightclub clothes for the nightclub.

- Don't be the person who never reads or shows up for class, and then begs her friends for their notes or outlines at the end of the semester. Your friends will give them to you, but they will resent you and talk about what a slacker you are behind your back. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of outlines given to me by friends, but only because I have given out a lot of outlines as well. It's gotta be reciprocal. And really, your first year you should really be doing your own, anyway.

5. If you are planning on carrying a backpack with wheels, know that everyone who isn't carrying a backpack with wheels finds you annoying. That doesn't mean don't have one. It just means try to keep the fucking thing out of the way of others.

6. Don't have sex with your professors. Actually, that's stupid. Have sex with them if you want. Just don't tell your friends about it, because they WILL talk. It's just too good gossip to be contained. FYI, I did not have sex with any of my professors.

7. Take Business Organizations. Take Secured Transactions. I didn't. When it came time to study for the bar, I REALLY regretted it.

8. If your parents are paying for law school, or you are on a scholarship, or are in any other way NOT going to be saddled with enormous loan debt, keep that little bit of information to yourself. When everyone around you is commiserating about how much debt they have, just nod your head like you're as fucked as they are. If you do not do this, you will be resented openly.

9. On the other hand, if you had to take out loans to pay for law school, SHUT UP ABOUT IT. You're no different than the rest of us. We're all going to be paying back our loans forever, and no one's thrilled about it, but bitching about it non-stop is getting you nowhere.

10. Be in one student organization. Don't be in ten.

11. Don't depend on your Career Services Office to get you a job. They can actually be a barrier to employment.

12. Don't let the competition of law school turn you into an asshole or a liar. You need friends when you graduate. You need friends when you take the bar. You need friends when you're a lawyer.

13. Be excited. Every fucking day, you are going to feel smarter. You're going to learn a new language. In about 6 months you're going to have a conversation with someone about the law, and you're going to take a second and be shocked when you realize that you understood everything that you just said. Enjoy that moment. But don't tell anyone you had it. They'll act like they don't understand.

Good luck. Have fun. Don't be a douchebag.

Quiz

Your 'Do You Want the Terrorists to Win' Score: 100%

You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, "blame America first"-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such cleary desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day.... in Guantanamo!

Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I'm Disappointed with Myself

I got a letter today from the law school telling me I was not chosen to participate in moot court next year. I was the first one to sign up, the first one of my entire law school to compete. I went in front of a panel of my own professors, armed only with my wits and a path of argument. And I wasn't chosen.
This is so disappointing. Not only because half the school, it seems, get chosen. Not only because I worked harder than I ever have in my life last year. Not only because I would have the opportunity to expand my advocacy skills one-on-one with a local attorney, improve my legal research skills, travel to Toronto all expenses paid, stay in a downtown hotel, meet Supreme Court justices and other law students.
It is disappointing most of all because I really thought I could do it. I thought my skills, my grades, my try out was Good Enough.

And it wasn't.

20 Ways To Success in Life

I stumbled across this list on, well, Stumbleupon.com. Love it. Especially #1. So true!

20 Suggestions for Success
By H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.

Stupid Survey

Where would you want to go on a first date? To Paris
Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Yes, a song written for me. It was beautiful.
Ever been kissed under fireworks? Never.
Have you ever bungee jumped? I have no desire.
What song are you listening to right now? None. I don't get to listen to music very often, but I'm working on changing that.
What was the last movie you watched? The Incredible Hulk. Seriously fun popcorn flick.
Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? Not seriously.
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their height,
What's your favorite body part on the opposite sex? For my husband, it's his cheeks. Kind of bizarre, I know, but I love, love, love the apple of his cheeks and love to press my browbone against them. Random!
What do you usually order from Starbucks? Grande Cinnemon Dolce Latte.
Say something totally random about yourself: I hate the color coral. It's for old ladies.
Do you have an iPod? I've broken my fair share and have an MP3 player now that I don't think I have a cord for anymore. We are looking into getting iphones at the end of the summer, so maybe this time I won't break it if it's my phone, too.
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? When I was younger and hot, I used to get Nicole Kidman (which I ate up) or Jenny McCarthy. Now I get depressing ones like Mary Stuart Masterson.
Are you comfortable with your height? Sure am!
Do you love someone right now? I love a lot of people: my family, my husband, my good friends.
How tall are you? Another height question. Who wrote this survey? I am 5'8.
Do you speak any other language other than english? French and a little Spanish.
What's something that really annoys you? When signs advertise "fresh" fish. Is the fish fresh, or what??? What are you trying to tell your customers??
Do you like Michael Jackson? When I was little, I used to think, "Whoever marries him is going to be so lucky." Lol!
Have you ever surfed? The Web.
Do you drive? Not anymore and I don't miss it.
Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? Thankhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.bold.gif
insert bold tagsfully, no.
Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do? ugh. Nothing memorable.
What color is your hair? Glorious blonde.
Favorite non-alcoholic drink? Cranberry juice.
If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be? The Captain.
Who do you live with? My husband.
Last thing you watched on TV? Weeds.
Do you wear glasses or contacts? Nope.
Are you shy? No.
Are you selfish? Yes.
Are you spoiled? By my husband, all the time.
Are you giving? I want to be.
Do you flirt with your best friends boyfriend or girlfriend? No way.
Do you lie? I am a bad liar.
Are you conceited? Yes, especially when I'm blonde. Maybe not conceited, but definetely vain.
Would you walk by an old lady carrying groceries? Huh?
Do you go out of your way to get attention? Oh boy, I sure do.
Do you go out of your way to help someone? Yes. Especially in the interaction area at the law school.
Have you ever kissed someone who is just a friend? Not for a long time.
Do you believe in Magic? No.
Have you ever threatened someone? Mebbe.
Are you afraid of the dark? Only when my husband is lurking nearby.
Have you ever lied to make someone happy? Yes.
Would you prefer soda or Juice? Juice, I don't like soda pop.
You're really upset, who is the first guy you go to? My husband. He kisses all my boo boos and makes the world right again.
The first girl you go to? I used to go to my best friend but now...no one.
If someone liked you right now, what would you tell them? Obviously this quiz is for the younger set.
Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning? Night. Morning showers give me a headache.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Hope.
Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life? Yes. I think.
Which year has been the best and worst so far? 2007: worst year. 2008: pretty rough so far. 2005: awesome-I got engaged, went to Oxford, moved into a super cute townhouse with my fiance.
Has anyone ever been more important to you other than a family member? My boyfriend--but then he became my husband.
Last time you laughed really hard? Can't remember.
Do you know anyone that is addicted to drugs? Sadly, yes.
What color are your eyes? Blue: sort of a medium blue-gray.
Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it? No, but things that are achievable, I go for with my whole heart.
Would you ever get a tattoo? Never, but my husband has three and I think they are so sexy. (This survey is becoming more about him than me.)
Piercings? I have 5 holes but only two are currently in use.
What was the last thing you ate? Dill pickle potato chips. My favorite.
What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body? What the hell? Who wrote this survey?? And why didn't I read the whole thing before I began answering??
If you could be a superhero, what power would you want? The power to read minds.
What are you afraid of? snakes, enclosed spaces, doing poorly in school, having no friends, losing my husband's respect.
Last thing downloaded on your computer? Can't remember.
Do you play anything? Wii bowling.
Do you dress for style or comfort? I used to dress for style and now I dress mostly for comfort.

Debating with Those of a Different Persuasion

And it gets me into trouble. Often with men. I just can't seem to keep silent in school or when in the company of my husband's extended family when someone says something sexist or racist. I try, sometimes. And I do keep quiet sometimes. Like when two of his relatives (one a PhD theology professor who founds and runs Christian colleges) were discussing how much Jesus/God wanted the other one to have expensive cars and high paying jobs. I looked out blankly in the distance and bit my tongue.

But often have to say something. I don't always think it through very well and I have a nasty habit of getting combattive and angry instead of remaining calm. I'm working on that. Anyway, I feel bad because I know my husband has to deal with my words, that the things I say effect him and his relationship to his family. And then I came across this quote:

"When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak." - Audre Lorde

Just.Awesome. It's true that I end up feeling gross whether or not I speak. If I speak, I feel that I haven't represented the issue as well as I should have or could have. If I don't speak, I feel my silence is consent. So, while I still wish to pick my battles more wisely when it comes to things that effect my husband, I am relieved to have run across this quote.

Home Again, Home Again; Gidgity-Gid

We are back in Vancouver! We arrived yesterday night and this morning, at 8 AM, the electricity was shut off until 8 pm. So, I accompanied Monster on his errands around Vancouver and pulled a leg muscle. All that sitting on one's posterior has a way of flabbing the muscles. I was planning on going for an early morning run tomorrow, so that kind of sucks.

Other than that, we are dealing with boneheaded service agents. We called our cellphone provider to temporarily disconnect our service while we were in the States and they cancelled it instead. And now they want us to pay a large deposit to have it continued. Also, our rent payments keep getting screwed up at the main office and we have to unpick it every month. So frustrating.

In many ways, I feel exactly as I did one year ago, when we first landed in Vancouver. But this time is better.

"Sad" Choices

A few moments ago, a family friend at a barbaque pronounced Monster's and my choice not to procreate as "sad." We face this kind of reaction often, very often, when we tell our friends and acquantances that we have chosen not to have children. We are labled selfish and sad.

The problem with these pronouncements is that they negate the very real decision-making process my husband and I went through. We looked at our age at time of marriage, our goals, our aspirations for life and realized that we could better reach these if we did not have children of our own. We weighed the joys of parenthood against the other joys we wanted to experience and decided what was best for us. For us. Not for the rest of the world. For us. And yet, this very difficult decision is constantly weighed publicly and found publicly wanting. While it hurts to have our methodical decision derided by others, I oppose the idea that not having children is selfish.

For one thing, our planet is facing a global environmental crisis. Adding people to this world adds pollution to this world and there is no way to get around that. Creating more resources for others is hardly selfish. Also, neither of us think our particular DNA is so wonderful or dynamic that we should reproduce it. We don't think our children would be replicas of our own selves and thus do not feel the need to boost our egos by looking at our children as extentions of ourselves. By writing this, I am not saying all parents procreate for this reason. But some do. It is a dirty fact of parenthood, one that is selfish.

Another point that is brought up by those protesting our choice is that children are wonderful. Well, duh. I can't imagine a life without children in it. I have always have significant children in my life. I have watched them grow up, flown thousands of miles to see them. They are my friends children, not even of my own blood but I love them. They make my world better. I do not have to give birth to see their specialness, their worth.

The fact is, we all have to make choices for ourselves. Our choice, while it may have worked out wonderfully for you, is not one-size-fits all. If we could only accept others' powers of decision-making, then we call would be free to make choices that best suit our lives and empower us and our loved ones.

I am sorry you find my life choices so "sad." I am sorry that you look down on me and my husband as "less than." This I cannot help. I can only say that I wake up and go to sleep delirously happy that I have the power to make this choice, a power that has been denied women for centuries until very, very recently. I do not exaggerate when I say motherhood is not for everyone and not everyone who had children enjoyed it. If I have to power to make a choice that makes my life better, who are you to say it is "sad"?

"He was the closest thing there was at any of the networks to an objective journalist." --Rush Limbaugh

Tim Russert 1950-2008




Before we moved to Vancouver, I used to watch the Today Show every morning I could at 7:00. I considered the first half hour the best part of the show, because that is when the political interviews aired. Over time, I grew to appreciate the appearances of Tim Russert, a frequent guest on the show, and his commentary on politics. Soon, I was flipping to Meet the Press on Sunday mornings to watch him interview politicians.

I liked his style: never arrogant, never inept. He did his homework and would find snippets of video or quotes from the guest that were the most relevant to the on-going discussion. During the 2004 election, I remember his little whiteboard on the Today Show predicting the Bush-Kerry election would come down to "Ohio, Ohio, Ohio." Considering his white board contained the message, "Florida, Florida, Florida" before the landmark Bush-Gore election, I didn't doubt him and was not surprised at all to awaken the day after the election to the news that Ohio was in the balance.

Over the past decade, I have seen "journalists" use their positions on television for ad-hominem attacks, hyperbole and the setting up of strawmen. Leaving the States for nearly a year and then returning, this type of journalism struck me even harder. So unprofessional and an affront to citizens who truly wish to be educated on the issues. But Russert was not one of those angry-seething-attacking journalists. He was smart and kind and still put the pressure on politics to clarify their positions.

It's hard to believe he's gone. There is no one to replace him.

The Decline of the American Worker

From Slate magazine:

While cyclical factors like the spiking price of gasoline and the slumping job market have something to do with this, the real culprits are long-standing trends that have altered the structure of our economy. As a result, with each passing year, more Americans view something that used to be an entitlement—paid time off—as an increasingly unaffordable or unavailable luxury. If John McCain and Barack Obama are serious about wooing working-class voters, they would be smart to pay attention to the lack of paid time off and the huge stresses this has placed on many workers and their families.

After living in Canada for awhile, the striking difference between lifestyles of middle class workers has become so apparant to me. Back in Florida, nearly all my friends are doing slightly (or not-so-slightly) worse financially then they were last year. I read in the local paper today that companies are tightening benefits for working parents, like paid leave. I like that this Slate article addresses the long-term reasons why this is happening. It is not about recent gas price hikes or regular economic cycles. It's about privatized medicine, the lack of tax breaks for the middle class and the consumer culture.

Honestly, Monster and I are not looking to be rich. We just want to be comfortable. As a reasonably educated, childless couple, we were surprised how difficult it was for us to get ahead here. We always worried about health care and wages that did not go up with inflation. At least in Canada, with social benefits firmly in place, we can be assured we won't sink into poverty through the regular mishaps of life. Monster is joining a union in Canada and I, as a student, have free health care.

The solution for Americans, if I may opine, is taking more responsibility for their government. As it now stands, the U.S. government is much more attune to the needs of corporations than the needs of its citizens. And that's a normal reaction. If the people you represent don't keep you in check, what is to stop you from profiting from the system.

Missing Oaxaca

Feeling sentimental about our little mountain retreat in Southern Mexico. These pictures were taken the week of our wedding in 2006.

Music for the slideshow: click on the box.


Picture slideshow:

Our 2nd Anniversary

We had a lovely second anniversary celebration. Monster's mom got us a masseuse and we had relaxing massages by the pool as the sun set. I took the pictures at the end, when it was officially dark. It was a really cool moment to begin my massage face down with lots of light in the skyand then, when I turned over, it was night.

Fist Bumps: the Stuff of Terrorism?

My husband and I adopted the fist bump awhile ago to celebrate small accomplishments. To us it says, "Way to go" or "We're awesome." I think the fist bump shows we are a team, equal in every way. It's a sweet way to connect. Okay. So, here is what Fox news thinks of Obama and his wife's fist bump as he prepared to make his Democratic nomination acceptance speech: they are secret terrorists and the fist bump is their silent way of affirming such.

If I were to analyze, I would opine that Fox News will wrap themselves in logical pretzels to criticize ANY Democratic nominee*. The fact that the nominee is half-Kenyan, raised spordically overseas and with that fantastical name only makes it so much more delicious for them. But even though I expected an onslaught from them, they still manage to surprise me.

Is it the idea of a husband and wife being equals that dismays them? Is it the fact that Michelle Obama does not seem like the type of person to retire into a haze of timidity like Laura Bush that threatens Fox and its viewship? For me, Obama really does embody the change he suggests in his rhetoric. A partnership of equals in their marriage, a willingness to embrace Americans who are not white, straight, middle class, patriachy-loving homophobics.

There remains five months before the general election. I wonder what other kinds of shenanagans Fox News can get into?

*see John Kerry and the Swift Boat debacle of '04.

From "Not Racist" to "Super Not Racist"

I have been reading this blog called Stuff White People Like sporadically for a few months now. Interestingly, the author (can blogs have bonafide "authors"? Are they, like, novelists?) just got a book deal.

Anyway, check it out. I think it is hilarious and true. And also makes me think about my own behaviors as a white person. This passage hit home:

From stuffwhitepeoplelike.com:

"It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended. They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive. When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples. Once they have finished lecturing another white person about how it’s wrong to use the term “black” instead of “African-American,” they can sit back and relax in the knowledge that they have made a difference."

Oh, man. I have done this. Usually I do it in retrospect of a conversation I had in the past where I wasn't armed with quotes, statistics and historical examples. So, I research my talking points in case anyone ever asks me about that same topic ever again. Yeah. I'll show them next time.

More FL pictures

A glimpse into what we have been up to here in Tampa. Life has gotten a bit too comfortable for us here, Monster and I are preparing to go home next week. This trip has been quite a break for me, waking up late, eating at leisure, browsing online and visiting friends. It's been restful and healthy.