Because Consentual Sex Makes You Barren

From the U.K. Telegraph:

Sexual harassment okay as it ensures humans breed, Russian judge rules

A Russian advertising executive who sued her boss for sexual harassment lost her case after a judge ruled that employers were obliged to make passes at female staff to ensure the survival of the human race.


The unnamed executive, a 22-year-old from St Petersburg, had been hoping to become only the third woman in Russia's history to bring a successful sexual harassment action against a male employer.

She alleged she had been locked out of her office after she refused to have intimate relations with her 47-year-old boss.

"He always demanded that female workers signalled to him with their eyes that they desperately wanted to be laid on the boardroom table as soon as he gave the word," she earlier told the court. "I didn't realise at first that he wasn't speaking metaphorically."

The judge said he threw out the case not through lack of evidence but because the employer had acted gallantly rather than criminally.

"If we had no sexual harassment we would have no children," the judge ruled.

Since Soviet times, sexual harassment in Russia has become an accepted part of life in the office, work place and university lecture room.

According to a recent survey, 100 per cent of female professionals said they had been subjected to sexual harassment by their bosses, 32 per cent said they had had intercourse with them at least once and another seven per cent claimed to have been raped.

Eighty per cent of those who participated in the survey said they did not believe it possible to win promotion without engaging in sexual relations with their male superiors.

Women also report that it is common to be browbeaten into sex during job interviews, while female students regularly complain that university professors trade high marks for sexual favours.

Only two women have won sexual harassment cases since the collapse of the Soviet Union, one in 1993 and the other in 1997.

Human rights activists say that Russian women remain second-class citizens and are subjected to some of the highest levels of domestic abuse in the world.
_________________________________________

I don't really know where to start with this article. Firstly, only two women have won sexual harrassment suits in Russia to date? This woman was very brave and courageous to even bring her case.
Second, the world's population has exploded. New people drop onto the planet every day. There is no reason for slimy bosses to believe the women in their office want to be "laid desperately" unless the women expressly tells him so without coersion. No reason at all, especially not the "population in crisis" bull that this judge laid out.
This article makes me sad for Russian women and sad for women everywhere. Women expect to be treated as human beings. They expect their efforts are noticed and appreciated and their co-workers see them as valuable for their work skills and not their bodies. Women deserve respect for working hard, not harrassment for owning a body.

Ted Stevens Indicted [Note: Ted Stevens is not something you can just dump something on. He is not a series of tubes.]

"A federal grand jury has indicted longtime Senator Ted Stevens, Republican of Alaska, on corruption charges after more than a year’s investigation, a federal law enforcement official has confirmed to The Times’s David Johnston.

Just a year ago, federal agents raided Mr. Stevens’ home following questions about renovations at the home. A few months before that, an Alaska businessman Bill J. Allen admitted to bribery, and in court papers acknowledged making $243,000 in possibly illegal payments to a state lawmaker identified only as “Senator B.” That abbreviation referred to Senator Ted Stevens’s son, Ben Stevens."



Oh Ted Stevens, you have both thrilled and terrified in your senatorial tenure. Is there nothing your magical hands have not touched? No series of tubes left undisturbed?

Living on Campus

Six months ago, we moved into a small townhouse-style apartment on campus. We originally thought we were going to be sectioned in the "married students" housing, but honestly, we have not yet seen another married couple, so I think we were wrong about that. But our place is clean, quiet (most of the time) and located within steps of three coffe shops (and only 1 is a Starbucks!). We are not complaining.

I am truly not complaining about being a summer resident, there are so many treasures for the taking. For instance, there are two laundry room situated extremely close by. My husband showed me that each has a small area where discarded items are placed for other residents to pick through. While I refuse to call this ever-changing pile a "forsake-all" that is exactly what it is. I need a filing system for my clients (I volunteer twice a week at a legal center for battered women) and was considering buying a plastic accordian-style one this weekend. Lo and behold! There is a pristine one discarded in the pile. Score.

There are many reasons to be glad we live on campus. "Free Store" shopping is just another perk.

Cycling on the Seawall--Sunday at Stanley Park

[Update: Monster mentioned to me that there is no "copy" alongside this latest post, so I'll add a few words.] We have been meaning to bike around the sea wall in Stanley Park (approx 6 miles) one of these days. I thought it would be cool, and sooo romantic, to take a bicyle-built-for-two. Well, it was sort of romantic but it was much more like those dreams I have where I'm trying to drive the car from the back seat. I could barely see where we were going, and would have to look to the sides to see the way ahead. I'm lucky M. is such a good cyclist or we would have bumped into something.
After biking (which only took 1 1/2 hours) we walked down English Bay for cookies, coffee and gelato. There are lots of cool shops and cafes, we will definetely be returning.
I am not sure when Monster and I will get another weekend off together, as his new job has odd days off (Tues-Wed) but I sure did enjoy yesterday with him.

Real Life

[6:10 a.m.]
Me: I think the alarm clock is gonna go off in a few minutes. (I do this a lot and yes, it's really, really annoying. But I don't do it on purpose.)
Him: huh?

[6:14 a.m.]
Me: It's going off in one minute!
Him: [stumbles up to moves the drinking glass out of the way, so we can see the alarm better. Gets back in bed. Alarm immediately goes off.]

[6:17 a.m.]
[cuddling.]
Him: I had a dream about you last night.
Me: Oh?
Him: We were moving and when I came home you had already moved everything.
Me: In your dreams I'm a pretty amazing wife.
Him: In real life, too.

"Feeding your F--king Family"

A few months ago on feministing.com, I started to come across videos from this very funny and witty woman, Sarah Haskins. In her videos, "Target: Women" Sarah talks about the daily ritual objectification of women in Western culture. Many of the items she discusses, like the way yogurt is marketed solely to women, are things so subtle that they totally escaped my notice.

In this episode, Sarah approaches something I have always wrestled with: dinner. Even in my family of two, the idea of organizing, preparing for and creating interesting and delicious dishes every day is difficult. At this point, thankfully, I have gotten better at making new and interesting dishes, but still my repetroire is very limited: a fish dish, a noodle/hamburger dish, hamburgers or cheeseburgers, fajitas, coconut chicken curry (this is the one I am most proud of. Spicy, creamy and yummy!) Then start all over. A bit boring. And not to say Monster doesn't cook, he does, but his selection of dishes is just as limited as mine. Our trips to the grocery store are exercises in boredom as we end up buying the same stuff and making it in the same way. I don't want to eat frozen, already prepared meals all the time and I feel comfortable with the meals I know...and so groceries remain boring.

We both cannot imagine trying to organize and cook everyday for children, like many women do. Not only are children hungry a lot, they can be very picky eaters. I wouldn't feel comfortable supplying growing bodies with junk food, so I would want to cook fresh for them--the way my mother did for us. But see, she never had a job when I was growing up. She was home all day and made us healthy cookies and snacks. And she experimented with food...maybe a bit too much, but nonetheless, she was able to spend a lot of time thinking about and planning meals.

For me, the idea of working full time and then preparing dinner is just too much for my little brain. I think if I was a working mom, it wouldn't be long until I pulled out the frozen/fast food, growing bodies be damned. This is not the first time I have admitted to myself that I would not make a very good mom, but this dinner-prep issue goes way beyond me. It affects every home with children and working parents.

So, what's the solution? Even in our very egalitarian household, I seem to do more of the deciding, prepartng, organizing meals than my husband. I am the one trying to figure out how to expand our palates, searching online for new recipes, scanning the aisles at the grocery store. And my partner is not forcing me into it at all. It just...happened. I can imagine how it could "happen" all the more in two parent heterosexual homes where both adults work full time.

I mean, I just don't know how women are supposed to hold it all together: the economy forces many women to work full time no matter what their personal preference. Limited access to controception and abstinence-only education forces women into motherhood at earlier ages, before many have the maturity to handle such a large responsibility. Gender expectations are so deeply ingrained that even when both spouses want to rid themselves of them, somehow vestiges remain. Everyone suffers except the fast food chains.

I have no answers, just a confession that I haven't got it all figured out yet.

Fun Song!

The movie based on the musical is coming out this weekend. I haven't seen either but I love this song. On a visit to London to see my good friend T., we were coming back from Soho at 2 A.M. belting out this song. Seriously fun.

Order of Canada Poem--Henry Morgentaler

Attending a garden party at my professors' home last night, we began discussing Henry Morgentaler's recent honour, The Order of Canada (Canada's highest award, chosen by committee). One of my professors mentioned she began reading a poem about the divisiveness stemming from Morgentaler's recipiency to her partner over breakfast one morning, and ended up in tears. I was intrigued and she promised to send me a link. She did.

Here it is:

Order of Canada

by JOHN ALLEMANG


Compared, let's say, to Karen Kain,

Abortion's hero causes pain,

And if, as Stephen Harper said

(To help regain some pro-life cred),

The Globe and Mail

Our honorees must unify,

Then Morgentaler's not your guy -

For who'd dare say a D and C

Can serve the cause of unity?

As icons go, he's thought to lack

The virtues of a Conrad Black,

And can't compete with hallowed jocks,

Or jog as far as Terry Fox,

Or use his Hippocratic arts

To climb the ancient Billboard charts

Like Bachman-Turner Overdrive -

He just helped pregnant girls survive.

They used to die, you ought to know,

When reproduction's status quo

Commanded all to take to term

The accidents of egg and sperm.

However bad abortion seems,

Please conjure up the back-street screams

Of butchered women breaking laws -

And then judge Morgentaler's cause.

"A better country's what they seek."

The Order's motto doesn't speak

Of vague and inoffensive deeds

That won't disturb the leading creeds -

It honours those who make our land

A place where one who takes a stand

And gets accused of every sin

Can proudly wear the snowflake pin.

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Marvel

“I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both." Forrest Gump

Coming home this evening after a day of at the law school with my co-students (I am volunteering with a legal aid clinic over the summer), suddenly it hit me. I walked through a patch of green leafy trees and stopped in my tracks--I'm fully a law student.

I must explain: I was living in Fort Lauderdale in 2001, directionless. Not knowing what to do with myself, I needed something/someone to change my pretty-meaningless life. I was interning at a real estate firm and not liking it much. I was single, in debt and not sure who I was or what I should do next. Then, one ordinary morning, I decided I simply must go to school. And not only to school but to law school as well. I still have NO idea where that idea came from or where I got the idea that I had the capabilities to follow this new and very challenging career choice through.

So, I started my first semester of undergrad. And then somehow, I got from that first semester to this walk under the trees of my beautiful campus and home, where I have already completed one year of law. And for the first time ever, I stopped thinking about summer jobs, classroom credit, fall term schedules and just.enjoyed.the.wonder. The wonder that I could make a decison and follow through, the wonder that all the many small decisions and efforts had landed me here. A law student. In a position to grant no-contest divorces, research legal advice for a segment of the community and learn about the way society functions for two more years. It was spellbinding. How? How did I get here? I was listening to the words of the song "Because" from the Beatles on my iPod and each word resonated. "Because the wind is high, it blows my mind."

Sometimes life knocks you over with its beauty and magic.

I Found Him!

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her"....

-Unknown (Website)

Top Moments of My Life So Far

10. Standing at the cusp of the Grand Canyon in pitch dark and watching the landscape slowly illuminate with the dawn.
9. Gazing upon the ornate stoneworkings at the chapel in Oxford. I was so awed I couldn't even fully enter the room. Not like me.
8. Watching the stars with Monster in Cabo on our honeymoon.
7. Dinners with B&T in South Africa.
6. Flying over Victoria Falls in a helicopter.
5. Coming back from a white water rafting trip with our guides in an open air truck. Without warning, the skies burst into a downpour--and our guides responded by singing just as suddenly and enthusiastically as the rain.

"War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength" Orwell, 1984

The above video is of a woman holding a "McCain=Bush" sign being ticketed and escorted off public property by police. (Hint: such action by the police in these circumstances may be against the law and is certainly not in keeping with a democratic society where dissent is supposed to be nutured.) The police were responding to McCain's campaign people who staff his appearances with GOP supporters.

What's interesting to me is that Bush also fills his appearances with GOP (and even makes attendees sign GOP pledges of loyalty. But. He is the president. Bush's unpopularity developed over years and years of his presidency. Interesting implications are raised that a Republican nominee would feel the need to insulate himself in the manner as an unpopular two-term president.

Weary

I've been thinking about my belief in equality lately. More specifically, my determination that the world would be a much, much, much better place if women and men had the freedom to express who they are. That women and men both have the potential to be excellent caretakers of young children, can clean and organize a household equally well and run a boardroom meeting and a company equally well. That being good at something has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with desire and determination.

But these ideas don't get much play. In our society, even as open and progressive as it is, there is severe pushback against men who express a desire to do something "unmanly" such as take care of their children full time or take their wife's last name. There is severe pushback against a woman who keeps her last name and expresses desire to do something outside the acceptable limits of femininity.

And I've been feeling that pushback a lot lately. It is really getting to me. To express to someone, even someone you think is neutral or a friend, "this is what I want from life, this is who I am" and be insulted for your trouble. I am weary. I am tired of having to defend myself for wanting a role outside of society's narrow confines.

And really, what I want for my life is not really that far out of society's narrowly-issued bounds. I am still heterosexual, married, stable and in graduate school. I am pretty well within the lines. Yet, I see it. The look of shock and then disgust on the face of people I know when I say I am a feminist. The pure incredulousness when I mention my husband supports my career fully and that, although I may one day make more money than him, we are both fine with that. The idea that we can be man and wife and have no desire to reproduce.

I see hatred and fear and anger coming at me all the time. All the time. I have over the top attacks launched at me over a dinner table or drinks with friends. I think one of the reasons people feel so free in attacking my value system is that they don't expect me to answer back. They are not used to anyone raising a voice against them. But I do and I'm weary.

I find very few role models. I have little guidance from those who have forged this path before me. I question if what I believe--that females are autonomous human beings and that men should not face ridicule for choices outside the "manly man" roles--can even be labeled. Recently, some of the feminists I admired in the blogosphere have said and done very irresponsible things. My election candidate, in an article with a Christian magazine, spoke of his belief that women's bodies are not totally autonomous, that society still gets a say in women's choices. I follow threads regarding women's murders and read comments stating the woman deserved her victimization. Maybe for being in the wrong place, wearing the wrong thing, loving the wrong person. So much space is devoted to devaluing women's lives that it breaks my heart.

I am not sure where to go from here. I just know that the world is a much, much scarier place than I ever imagined. I know that people can and will despise you for thinking differently than they. I know that true equality will most likely not be achieved in my generation, to the detriment of boys and girls for years to come. I know that I will continue to be attacked and shamed. I am just not sure what to do about it.

"I don't want some guy teaching my kid wizardry. My kid needs to be learning, learning education in the school system."-father of a victim

Ah, Florida. My home for nearly a decade. My husband's home for his first 30 years. I have been endlessly amused by its wackiness and backwards mentality. From police dumping parapalygics out of wheelchairs because they would not stand up on command to the Hogan family, there is so much to enjoy. The lastest story coming out of Pasco County, Florida (near our old stomping grounds of Tampa) has to do with a teacher being fired for wizardry.
He performed a magic trick involving a toothpick taped behind his thumb. The school board is saying this magic trick was just one of many errors made by this teacher, including allowing students to use computers when another teacher forbade it. Florida is an "at will" state and thus employees can be fired for pretty much anything.

This link doesn't work here in Canada, but those in the States can enjoy the Colbert-iness.

http://www.comedycentral.com/colbertreport/index.jhtml

Wow.

Last night at 10:00 PM ('cause that's the time it gets dark here in Vancouver), my husband and I climbed with my sister and her boyfriend onto the flat terrace on top of my sister's condo apartment. We watched the fireworks sparkle off the water. Being so close to downtown, we got the skyline, the fireworks, the water and could even see fireworks in distant New Westminster. Beautiful.

Morgentaler to Receive Order of Canada

The Silver Fox!

Finally, an honour for a man who lived through internment at a concentration camp during the Hollocaust, studied medicine while bording with a hostile German family, then came to Canada to fight for choice and freedom. Morgentaler is 85 and although our law school made a card for him, it's nearly three feet high and we didn't really think through how we would send it to him. Oh well, I'm sure he would rather receive this OFC than our simple cardboard greeting.
Or maybe both would be equally welcome?