Economic Crash--Then and Now

I will post on my little sister's new baby as soon as I learn the baby's middle name. Until then, I found this cartoon I thought was apt.

Something I Stumbled Upon

A Creed to Live By (I don't know who wrote this)

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don't let life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live up all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something left to give,
Nothing is really over . . . till the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us together.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances, that we learn to be brave.

Don't run through life so fast
that you forget not only where you've been,
but where you are going.

Some Happy for the Weekend

My Body, My Self

Last year, I wanted to get back into pilates but I didn't. I told myself I had too much studying to do, too much on my schedule to add anymore. It was sad, really, to cut what I enjoyed out of my life like that.
This year, I knew I would take pilates. Today, I kept that promise and started a pilates class that I eagerly look forward to continuing every Tuesday until the class ends (around exams--natch--this is a campus, after all.) As I lengthened and stretched, concentrated on my breathing and form above a indoor Olympic-sized pool, I felt exillerated. I walked home, cheeks rosy, thinking back on my long and unhealthy relationship with exercise and diet.

It began when I was a teenager living away from my parents in Puerto Rico. There were many other teens also living there and it quickly came to my attention that my body wasn't ok. I had a rather large, um, bum. Being skinny my entire childhood, I wasn't sure how to deal with this new, ahem, development. (That's the last one for this post, I promise!) I heard of some exercises that shrunk the gluts so I eagerly and clandestinely practiced these moves late at night after everyone went to bed. The problem was, I performed these exercises in bed. And I slept on the middle bunk of a triple bunk bed. Very quickly came vigorous discouragement from continuing my secret exercise routine.

In my late teens and early twenties, I knew I was fat, disgusting and gross. Entertaining thoughts my body might actually be deformed, exercise became my focus. In my mid-twenties, I upped the ante and ran 3-4 miles a day. My diet was strict but loopy, with way too much daily candies and sugar. I was desparate to change the entire shape of my body and tried to will away any curves. But my obsession kept me thinking about food constantly.

After developing an eating disorders, a fortunate move to Florida changed everything! Instead of trying to force the body I wanted, I relaxed. I was happy. In a warm climate with endless social and career posibilities, life was exciting. I had crushes on cute guys and dreams to pursue. I started to like myself. Instead of candy, I naturally craved fruit and carrots. The weight just fell off. And stayed off--ten years later.

Instead of exercise being a medium to lose weight, exercise became something that I did because it made me feel so good. I tracked my build up of stamina, my muscle mass, my endurance. Early morning runs became about connecting with a new day, watching the sun rise, stretching my muscles and pushing myself. Discovering pilates a few years later, I lost myself in form, breathing, and stretching. I loved how pilates made me stand up straighter and taller. The hour always passes too quickly.

I wish I could go back and talk to my younger self. I would tell me that body image is warped by living through others' eyes. I would assure myself I was not, in fact, deformed but in reality possessed a body that adjusted to time changes easily, that healed quickly, that carried 15 lbs bookbags on its back for years. There was never anything wrong with my body, even when I weighed a bit more. Yes, I should have eaten less sugary stuff. But I don't even like sweet stuff anymore. It all evens out.

The important thing is that exercise has become a treat for me, something I do for the right reason. This is a triumph over my former eating disorders and bad body image. I am proud of the thrill exercise gives me--for its own sake. Every pilates class from now until I'm eighty, I will enjoy pilates and enjoy my body.

How I Lighten Up a Little

"Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family."
-Steven Colbert

So, I think I'm taking this election thingy a bit too personally. Perhaps its because election '08 started back in '06 or perhaps its the many, many political pundits that spew outrageous things with impunity("Palin has international experience because Alaska is close to Russia.")

It's time for me to well, get a life. I'm going to take a teeny step back, which for me is huge. I need to concentrate on the fact that I have a good life, a secure marriage, a stimulating educational experience, my family close by--even really cheap, awesome health care!

But...I'll still blog political issues from time to time. I just won't.be.able.to.help.myself.

Mooting Redux

A few months ago, I wrote a blog post regarding not being chosen to participate in moot competitions. I felt the law school was saying, "You suck" in their rejection letter. It was very disappointing.

Last night, I got an email from some faculty, asking me if I wanted to participate in a brand new advocacy mediation moot. Did I? Yes.

This morning, I meet with this professor to find out more about the moot (it's held in Toronto at the end of November, winners go on to compete in Paris next February.) I also asked why I was selected since I have never taken classes with the professors who chose the students for this moot.

And this is where I found out that I'm not invisible at law school. I was told that I was noticed and appreciated by the faculty for getting involved. I guess the positions I volunteered for have made an impact and gotten me noticed. I'm thrilled, especially since I thought the exact opposite all year last year.

Now, mooting is going to be a lot of work and I'll have to get better at delegating responsibility with my other time commitments, but it's just so surprising how things turn out sometimes.

Another Reason Why I F-ing Love the Law

We had our first Wrongful Convictions class tonight, held from 6 to 9 pm, although they let us out a bit early tonight. Taught by two practicing lawyers--one defense and one prosecutor--Wrongful Convictions is a class dealing with, well, wrongful convictions It is the classroom section of The Innocence Project, a North American endeavor to free innocent people from prison/death row. While I'm not involved with the IP, many of my classmates are and are actively working on having wrongful convictions overturned.

It really is quite amazing to sit in a class and realize what you are learning can redeem a life or a society. There is nothing like the law. There are no other tools for effecting change to society than the law. It is so exciting to be a part of it.

A Few Weeks and Counting...

My sister Maria is having a baby girl in a few weeks. We are all so excited for the first baby in our family in 21 years. She will be in good company with five aunts!

Products I Love

I've been wearing makeup since I was twelve. That's...twenty-one years of makeup use. And in the course of trying different products, there are three that work really well for me. First, Bare Essentials mineral makeup. I waited years to try this, even after friend after friend told me about how well it worked for them. It was very expensive ($25 per jar of foundation powder). I bought a starter kit this summer and I really regret waiting so long to try it. The powder goes on really easily and has a bit of moisture to it. The "fairly light" color matched my skin perfectly and easily covered all my lumps and bumps. I literally looked airbrushed! Now that I use it every day, I rarely have acne. I also really like that it's made of all natural minerals, no talc.

O.P.I. nail colors are one of my favorites, if only because I love to read the names on the bottles, "Curry up, don't be late." "Ice castle princess," and "Swimming in Lake Michigan" are really cute names for polish colors. I have very little time for nail polish these days but try to keep up with it as it makes my hands look so much more professional. When I discovered these new O.P.I. nail sticks in a downtown drugstore, I thought I'd give it a try. The polish comes out with lots of control and, because it's a stick, it's faster than using a bottle. I favor nude colors as these are easier to put on yourself and O.P.I. really could expand their collection of colors but, all in all, these work well and are quick enough to keep in my routine.

But my favorite thing is my M.A.C. gel eye liner. I got it in "Moss" a forest green with a hint of metallic. I put it on with a damp slanted brush in the morning and it stays all day, never smudges and gives my eyes a lot of sparkle. It's a bit expensive but it's worth it because of how easy it is to control. I dislike big gloppy eyeliner but sometimes pencil liner doesn't stay on all day. This gives the best of both worlds.

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

We were watching a documentary last night concerning broadening civil rights in Canada. The narrator pointed out that some of the most groudbreaking decisions to come out of the Supreme Court in the last five years began because one person got a lawyer. Then, that lawyer worked to make a successful argument the law should be changed. One person and their legal council. That's it. After hearing Mr. Edney (Khadr's lawyer) speak on Wednesday and then watching this documentary, I am beginning to become so excited about the deeper implications of what being a lawyer can mean.

I'm beginning to understand what a nobel profession law can be if used as a tool for justice. My undergrad professor once quoted Shakespeare's Henry VI to us, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." He told us that this quote is often attributed to just another lawyer joke about how greedy and corrupt the profession can be. Yet, a read of the play reveals this line is uttered by one of the villians, Dick the Butcher, who is looking to overthrow the government. Dick's logic is that getting rid of advocates is the surest way to chaos and tyranny--remove the guardians of independent thinking. Our professor wanted us to know getting into law is getting in the way of those who would disregard it.

Last year, the black-suited lawyers of Pakistan were at the forefront of the campaign against President Pervez Musharraf, boycotting courts across the country, protesting the emergency rule he illegally imposed. "How can you walk into a courtroom and address a judge as 'My lord' if he has taken an oath to a dictator?" asked one of the protesting attorneys.

I went to Shakespeare's hometown a few years ago and bought a magnet with this phrase. While I am sometimes accused of neferous intent in pursuing law, I want to remind myself of all the good that can be done by someone who knows the law and uses that knowledge to bring justice to others.

First Week/Second Year

The first week of classes has ended and it's been a blur of activity. I met the new Goyes who left me both proud of the strength and integrity to come and also scared s**tless (see: the new first year guys wanting the new first year girls to pose in arrest positions--in tank tops.)

Second year is a whole new game. It is onee I am not completly comfortable with. My classes assign twice as much reading (100 pages per class as opposed to 40), I have many writing assignments and 5 major conferences to organize/put together outside of schoolwork. I am not in my comfort zone of first year year long scheduling. I wonder how I can handle my new and varied obligations and succeed.

Second year of law school is something I never prepared for. I read about/thought about/philosophied about my first year for a long time before I became a law student. With each exam, each paper of my undergrad I told myself, "This brings me one step closer to law school." But I never consoled myself regarding anthing concering second year. It is its own banana.

So, here I am. In the middle. The middle of school, the middle of deciding what I will do and how I will get there, the middle of my GPA averagel, the middle of hither and yon. In every way, in the middle. It feels awkward and unplanned. It is like new skin once you take off a three-day-old bandage. This year feels unexposed and unprepared to face the elements that await me.

"For Funzies!"

Sarah Haskins always has a place on my blog. I heart her.

This is What a Patriot Looks Like

After police banned them from playing a political rally in Minnesota yesterday, Rage Against the Machine whipped out the loudspeaker and went a cappella.

The band’s original plan was to play an impromptu gig at left-wing rally Ripple Effect. Sadly, the police had other ideas, leaving Zack de la Rocha to address some angry fans.

“Rage Against the Machine is a band that has never, ever advocated violence.” “We’ve always advocated a direct opposition to unjust wars like the one started by John McCain and the Republicans and Bush and all of them.”

He continues: “Why the F@#% are these cops so afraid of us? Are they afraid of us?” "No, they are afraid of YOU." The mainstream media has not reported it much, but illegal preemptive police raids were conducted on "hippie houses" throught St. Paul this weekend in an effort to have protesters looking for a new place to live rather than a new government.

I watched this with tears in my eyes. After Khadr's lawyer spoke to us yesterday and then watching punditry on the RNC, I have been despondant. This video clip was something I needed to restore my faith in humanity.

I am not afraid to say the first five minutes made me tear up. It is unfortunate that it took an extreme removal of civil rights for young people to get involved in the process, but it's wonderful to see it. At last.

Passive

Omar Khadr's lawyer came to our school today to discuss his client. Khadr has been detained at Gitmo for the past six years. He has suffered unspeakable abuse at the hands of his captors, the U.S. government. Dennis Edney stood before us with conviction, telling us that despite his best efforts to secure Khadr's release, he will most likely be found guilty in the monkey military tribunal the Bush Administration is pushing through before the federal election. Edney radiated emotion when he declared he could not even get Khadr a pair of glasses to protect his only good eye (Khadr must sleep under florescent lights that burn 24/7 and damage his retna). It took years to have his status as Khadr's lawyer recognized and years more to get a first meeting with his client. Edney's letters to Khadr are intercepted.

The U.S. will get away breaking the Geneva Convention, flouting human rights, ignoring international law on the rights of the child (Khadr was a child soldier at the time of his capture.) Edney told us the truth, that there is little he can do for his client The judge assigned to the preliminary case was dropped when he refused to instantly find Khadr guilty. He was replaced with someone who doesn't share the burden of conscience.

The U.S. can do all this because no one will stop them--Canada least of all. Edney explained that, like him, it is up to us, the individuals, to make change when governments won't. As future lawyers, it is our duty to engage in pro bono work as often as needed. Edney's case--an internationally recognized detainee issue which logically should be funded by some agency or group like Amnesty--has been entirely from his own pockets and those of his legal partner's. No one has helped him. He continues because, as he mentioned so many times throughout the 1 1/2 hours he spoke, the cause is just.

I was struck by the hopeless situation Kadr faces at so young an age. After 6 years of sensory deprivation, solitary confinement, forced labour when wounded, lack of pain meds, dogs snapping at his hooked head, being forced to mop up his urine using his hair after standing handcuffed to a door frame for hours, he is in for a lifetime more. Khadr doesn't matter, only the Bush propaganda machine matters.

I was also struck by the integrity of Mr. Edney standing before us. He has children at home, as does his legal partner. They both sacrificed years of their lives and legal services--for free--to try to help Khadr simply because it was the right thing to do. All of the frustrations I have had with the Bush Administration he has witnessed firsthand and yet he doesn't give up.

I want to follow his example and give up things that I treasure in order to gain things I treasure more, like democracy and a fair trial. I am grateful for the opportunity to meet such a man.

American/Canadian

I first heard this song on eMotive by A Perfect Circle's Maynard Keegan. It haunted me. Even though we have moved to Canada, I am still deeply involved with the U.S. national election. I just can't help it. I read all the blogs, watch the coverage, watch the conventions. Why can't I stop? Joni Mitchell, who wrote this song, is a Canadian living in the U.S.--the antithesis of my situation. This song so clearly sums up her emotions in relating to a nation that you see so much potential, a nation you love despite yourself, a nation that repeatedly disppoints.

"You say we have turned like the enemies you've earned/
But we can remember all the good things you are/
And so we ask you please/
Can we help you find the peace and the star?/
Oh my friend, we have all come/
To fear the beating of your drum."

5 Years Ago Today

Labor Day 2003. After beginning my the school year the week before, I was already tired and slept in late. A morning swim in the apartment complex pool (the pool overlooked Tampa Bay and the long bridges, just gorgeous!), a leisurely shower and a big breakfast later, I was ready to shop. My outfit for later that night needed perfecting. I still had to find the right shoes. I wanted my outfit to be just right because I had a first date. I had met this guy at a friend's birthday party a few weeks before. He was tall and tan and had these amazing blue-green eyes. When I first spoke to him, I felt a connection and I was excited to see what that was all about. In order to "entice" him, I planned to be fully ready to go when he arrived, save for my shoes. I was going to seductively slip into them while casually talking on the couch. I had it all planned--I just needed the perfect shoes. A few hours later, I found a black high-heeled pair--and on sale! They were perfect--sexy without being overly so, polished yet casual.

Rushing home with them, it occurred to me there was no alcohol in the apartment. What if, when I asked him if he'd like a drink, he asked for a beer? I ran into Publix and scanned the selection, hopeless. What do guys like to drink? Soliciting assitance from the guys standing in the beer aisle, I finally carried it all home, cleaned, changed, and prepared for my date. Everything was ready to go. The all-important shoes were strategically placed near the couch.

When the doorbell rang, my stomach was in knots. I reminded myself "do the sexy shoe thing." As nonchalantly as I could, I swept open the door and looked straight into the blue-green eyes. "Just let me put on my shoes..."

Now, five years later, those infamous shoes have been discarded. There is no beer in the fridge and I do not spend whole days preparing outfits for dates. But I still have those blue-green eyes to look into every morning of my life. I am an exceedingly lucky woman.

Happy 5th anniversary of our first date, Sweetie!