Today, on the way home from the drugstore, I texted Monster that our fridge was pretty much empty and asked him what he wanted to do about dinner. While waiting for his reply, I suddenly noticed that I didn't tell him that I preferred going grocery shopping tonight. Why couldn't I just tell him what I wanted to do instead of hoping that he'd mention it?
This has caused a lot of frustration in our marriage as I often don't approach things head on but rather try to manipulate my husband. And the thing is, I often don't even realize I'm doing it.
Why am I like this? I think it stems from all the years I spent living communally where I didn't feel I could ask for the things I needed or wanted, so I would try to create a situation amenable to getting that thing in a roundabout way. It's really sad that I still do this, though, and I wanted to be present in the moment so I can recognize and stop it,
1 comment:
Good for you for taking the steps to self-improvement. Its great that you are able to recognize something that you don't like about yourself and fix it for the better of your marriage and for you.
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