No Postings for Awhile

Due to the stress of PLTC. See you when I've pulled out all my hair!

Websites I Love

Found on this website a friend posted on her facebook page. Love it!

It All Starts with An Argument

My Bar course is a lot of work. For example, yesterday, I was given an assignment that was due the next day. The assignment involved researching, drafting and presenting to "the court" (really just a volunteer lawyer) arguments for a civil trial. We were given the particulars & the law involved & sent home at 12:00. After lunch, I started looking through my materials. At 10 PM, I was still working. I went to bed & got up at 6 to finish my draft & practice my presentation before presenting at 9 AM. I guess what I am trying to say is...my Bar course is a lot of work.

However. Whenever I feel down about all this work smack in the middle of a beautiful summer, I remember that I actually want to work at my firm, that I am happy with my career choice, that I feel fulfilled by my work. I believe one lawyer can be more effective than a million demonstrators. Everything we have in our society--from sidewalks to the size of sidewalks to, well, everything, started as someone's argument. When I feel unhappy with my life, I need to remember that.

In Honor of Our "Second" Four-Year Anniversary

Monster & I got married twice in the space of eight days. The first was a legal ceremony in his parents backyard in Tampa. The second was a much bigger celebration in Oaxaca, Mexico.

Each year, we look at our schedules and decide which anniversary we'll celebrate. It's real convenient, as we aren't locked into one day out of the year.

So, today is our "second" forth anniversary. We didn't do anything special except mention it to each other with our morning good bye peck. A few minutes ago, while perusing one of my favorite blogs, I came across this entry about the blogger's own eight year marriage:

"...there is perhaps no greater compliment than to be expansively loved by someone who has seen you at your absolute worst and decided to stick around nonetheless. So we have moments where we squirm at being loved, or reject it outright in a fit of self-destructive pique, but it is the moments in which we can wear comfortably the love that is being offered that hang lastingly in my memory, and his, forming a web of connected points into which we can fall, our safety net, whenever we stumble.

Love is a joint pursuit, but an individual practice, which is what makes it difficult to sustain. There are moments when one person loves the other more, is more committed, is more invested, is more present. In these moments—or hours, or days, or indefinite stretches of threadbare emotional reserves—the intimacy that makes conversation feel combustible in the first flourishes of a romance can be elusive, seemingly every trace of its existence vanished from all but the faintest recollection.

And in these moments, one can do naught but gaze from the swaying cradle of the safety net up at the highwire where love resides, and think, 'I'm glad we had the foresight to build this fuckin' thing.'"

Absolutely glad! Happy second forth anniversary, Hunny.

Evidence of Its Truth

This picture is a bit late.
I am done with law school, y'all! And this lovely lady can attest to the truth of that statement with an eye-witness account.

Dunzo!

Strength from a Scrawny Kid

This has been an emotionally draining week. I've had to reach inside myself to find the strength to keep my spirits up & keep a happy face. And, to my amazement, when I look for strength, I notice that I I reach back to my childhood.

Now, its no secret that my childhood was not exactly a happy one. I had to endure a lot of stuff that I would rather not have gone through. But. That little girl that I once was turned out to be a little tough-y. She became resilient through adversity. And now, when I'm searching to remember what it feels like to panic on the inside but smile on the outside or to feel humiliated but still show up the next day, my muscle memory kicks in, and it kicks in because of that little, scrawny, homely kid.

I have not given her nearly enough credit.

Submitted Without Comment

http://thenextweb.com/shareables/2010/05/19/too-cool-for-the-internet/

It's Not My Job to Police Your Penis

This fantastic lady suggested I post on the topic of office dress. Specifically, being fired for dressing "too sexy" as a woman claimed in this article. While I find it difficult to believe Ms. Lorenzana was actually told by management that her attire was the reason they were terminating her employ, maybe they did. A company who provided such reasons may be in trouble for gender discrimination, but maybe not. That is not the issue I want to explore.

Instead, I want to talk about how this instance is just another in society's long history of holding women responsible for the inappropriate reactions of a man. Reactions that, in a sane world, would be his responsibility alone to police. If you click on the article above, you will notice the outfits Ms. Lorenzana wore were not inappropriate for her office job. They were clean, smartly tailored, dark suits & skirts. The problem was, they just fit her too well. Her body & the way her body fit inside her clothes, inspired the male gaze. She was punished because otherwise men would have to be accountable for their own sense of distraction.

This is what living in a patriarchy looks like. This is what male privilege looks like.

The idea behind the burqa & the reasons for which Ms. Lorenzana was allegedly fired are fundamentally the same: women forced to take on the responsibility for the male urge. Women forced to see themselves as a man sees them and react according to male input. In reality, it is the sole responsibility of an adult--any adult--to make sure they are reacting appropriately towards another human being. Should an adult feel they cannot control their urges, they should remove themselves from a situation--not force the blame onto another.

While its true that Western women have come much further in equality than our counterparts in other parts of the world, the forces we confront daily are the same. It should not be our responsibilities to dress "ugly" enough to not arose a man but not so ugly as to displease a man. It is just not our responsibility. Women should be able to dress appropriately for our positions at work regardless of whether or breasts have abundant fatty tissue or very little & regardless of how our hips fit into our skirts. Women should be able to focus on their jobs 100%, without wondering how all the males in the office are handling seeing them in a pencil skirt.






I chose this picture of Ms.Lorenzana because its is nearly identical--down to the big bootay inside it--to the dress I wore to my Bar course today.

Inspiration!

I go to this website for decorating inspiration. The pairing ideas are so fresh & original. And I love the name of the website--the Department of the Interior. Everything about this website is cute. And it updates regularly.

Don't Blink

Right now, as I wait for Monster to get home so we can go out to dinner, I am hungrily watching No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain on The Food Network. In this episode, Bourdain is in Chicago sampling the chili dogs, smoked fish & deep-dish pizza that are ubiquitously Chicago. And, oh my god! My love of Chicago came rushing back to me in a whoosh!

I was born in Chicago but left when I was a baby. Later, I lived there when I was nineteen, in Hyde Park. Recently, I found out that I had very famous neighbors--the current President & First Lady! And Chicago was glorious for me! There was Taste of Chicago, a food fair, there were boat rides off Lakeshore Drive & The University of Chicago was not far away. But the food--the food--was amazing. Chicago has a big Mexican population & there were plenty of places where you could get authentic Mexican food & Tex-Mex served cheap & delicious. There were plenty of innovative hot dog stands & frozen bananas. I wasn't into fine dining at that point, I just wanted something hot, quick & delicious & boy, did Chicago deliver.

One night, when coming out of a Mexican restaurant downtown, I glanced up at the big, brightly-lit high rises around me & was awash in pure happiness. I felt at home in this exciting place, surrounded by friends who were like family to me. What I didn't know was that the moment was fleeting. I would love to go back to Chicago, but I know it would now be a different place. The people I loved there have moved away. Some of them have passed away & I think of them often. I can never really go back.

But in that moment in early 1994 in downtown Chicago, I felt a surge of happiness & peace that has stayed with me for...sixteen years. And that is worth it all.

Fourth Wedding Anniversary Dinner & First Weekend Back to Work

Here is where we are having dinner tonight to celebrate our forth anniversary. I have been craving baba ganoush lately. And lamb! It's such a great thing to celebrate--four years married to the Monster! It's been pretty awesome, all things considered.

When I met him, I knew right away that he would be important in my life. And from the start, my relationship with him was different than with past boyfriends. Monster let me know how much I meant to him. Always. There were no games. He was happy to let me know he wanted to be with me. After a few months of spending most of our time together, he invited me to move in some of my stuff. He didn't do the whole fake-anxiety bit about bringing in a toothbrush. And now, we're married. I hope we get many, many more years together.

Other that planning an anniversary dinner, this has been a pretty busy weekend. The Bar course neglected to mention that weekends were included in our lesson plan (although there are no classes, we are expected to complete our assignments during the weekend.). My classmates & I have scrambled to get used to working through the week & weekend without a break. Constant workdays was something I prepared myself for a law student but, when I graduated, I sort of assumed those days were behind me. At least, I thought consecutive work weekends would be a thing of the past. Oh well.

Over the course of the weekend, I spent a lot of time in the four gray walls of the law courts' library. Last night, after plugging away on my project for eight hours, Monster & I decided to soak up the remaining sun & took a walk down to English Bay. The beach was full of people enjoying the late summer evening & Monster & I savoured gelato & pizza. We sat on a blanket we brought with us & people-watched while others flew kits or played with their dogs. It's so fantastic to have those little moments where you can "sneak some summer" in.

This morning, after a tough but satisfying 3.5 mile hike on the elliptical, I headed back to the library to finish my research. It's been raining a lot, a very peaceful rain. I got home, cleaned up the apartment a little, then took a nice nap. Awake again, I am about to get some coffee & then finish my trusts accounts reading from last week.

Technical Difficulties

For some reason, after changing my template, I can no longer post pictures. I will try to fix this ASAP. Until then, my posts will be plain.

Edited to Add: fixed it!

What's Cookin'

Here is tonight's dinner. Quick & easy. I've been wanting to make coleslaw for awhile. Since Monster hates mayo, I set it rice vinegar. In the end, the slaw turned out crisp & briny. Yum. The crunchy texture of the slaw has a refreshing lime bite.
















Cabbage Slaw

2 cups finely shredded green cabbage
1/2 cup thinly sliced red bell pepper
1/3 cup thinly sliced red onion
2 tablespoons seasoned rice vinegar
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

Toss cabbage, bell pepper, onion, vinegar and oil in a large bowl. Season with salt and pepper; toss again to combine.

This slaw was perfect for pairing with cilantro-limo prawn tacos. The soft, fragrant, slightly-spicy chewiness of the prawns were perfect against the bite of the slaw.
















3/4 pound medium shrimp, peeled, de-veined
2 Tablespoons salsa verde
1 fresh lime
salt
fresh ground pepper
lots of chili pepper

Mix all together & cook until shrimp is pink. I am a big fan of using half a marinade to soak the meat & the other half in the cooking process. I think it adds a greater intensity of flavor. Intensity is my thing, but it may not be yours'. I wish I had made these tacos spicier. If that is your thing, add more chili powder or chili flakes.


Add ons:

Besides the tacos, I made:

"Refried" black beans:
1 (15-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained (I drained the liquid, then heated up some bacon grease that I have been happily holding onto for a few weeks. When the grease was hot, I added the beans & then mashed them up a little & added some salt).
Guacamole:
1 avocado, red onion, lime, garlic salt (I would have used fresh garlic but when I fetched it from the fridge, I noticed it was stale), fresh ground pepper to taste.

[Note: pics are not mine. Found on Google Image.]

Borderline Harrassment?

In today's ethics class, we went over a hypothetical where a partner at a firm was commenting on female associates physiques & mannerisms & standing behind them to rub their shoulders. We were split into groups to research statutes from the Professional Conduct Handbook what statutes prohibit such behavior.

During our discussions afterward, one male student commented that the behavior in question was "borderline harassment." A female student in his group stopped him to clarify that such behavior was indeed harassment. Not borderline harassment (whatever that is.) Many women around the room nodded in agreement. This prompted another male colleague to angrily ask if this hypothetical conduct was enough to "ruin someone's career over."

This exchange was interesting to me because of the disparity between what women & men perceive as sexual harassment. For women, I think that harassment is defined for many of us as any kind of unwanted attention with a sexual overtone (from remarks about a woman's body to unwanted touching). For some of the men in my class, I think the threshold is much higher--maybe more along the lines of overt harassment (blatant sexual touching). Also, for at least one male student, harassment was not a big deal, certainly not egregious enough to report to a higher up & risk "ruining someone's career."

I think it has a lot to do with what is at stake for each party. For women, dignity & self-esteem is at stake. One's self-worth affects all aspects of one's life & workplace. Thus, sexual harassment can invade how you feel about yourself in your personal life and at work. Sexual harassment is a big deal. For men, who maybe don't deal with a lot of negative attention in their daily lives, they perhaps cannot picture how disruptive harassment can be. Instead, they see the reporting of harassment as the greater problem, as it can damage someone's career over something so "small".

I Will Seek Professional Help

PLTC provides a councilor available to discuss PLTC-induced anxiety. I am making an appointment for next week.

Yesterday was my first day of PLTC & I studied for three hours after class. Surprise! I get to class & realize that was just the morning's readings. I had neglected to notice another hour or so of readings for the afternoon class.

Today, after five hours of class, I wrote an assignment (assigned today, due tomorrow), then went to the library in the courthouse to read for, well, as long as it took (it took four hours.) The courthouse closes at 4:30. The Law Society gave me a card which allows me to stay at the library 24 hours a day. I showed this to the security guard & she gave me an access card in exchange for my driver's license.

Later, I went to the bathroom. It was pitch black. All the lights had been turned off, apparently, when the courthouse closed. I found a cleaning person & asked how to turn on the lights. She had no idea. So, I went in and felt along the walls. Nothing. Finally, I just guided myself into a stall using my hands. There are no light switches in the bathroom or around the bathroom. There is no bathroom in the library. It was not a fun place to be.

By 7:30, there was only one person there besides me. I finished my reading, packed my stuff (1 backpack & one large purse worth) and looked for the exit. Emergency exit, emergency exit, an elevator which goes down as far as the third floor (I was on the third floor). Nothing else. So, I went back in the library, found the other person in there & asked how to get out. He was kind enough to show me the way down the hall, down another hall & at the end of a corridor. I doubt I would have found the way out myself & it was all starting to feel very creepy & isolated. I met another security guard on the second floor & eventually convinced her to give me back my driver's license.

I will not be going back there at night if I can help it. Instead, I think I'll try to find a student who will join me at the big city library. That way, we can watch each other's stuff.

In the meantime, I'm trying to prepare myself for a summer of pure misery.