I have been in the legal working world for four months now. No surprise, the working world is a lot of work. The idea of working 10-12 hour days was hard to fathom before I started at my firm. But even harder is thinking for that long. Around 4 p.m., my brain tends to go to mush & doing substantive work gets much harder. I would love to get better at long stretches of creative thinking & writing, but it's gonna take practice.
At the same time that I am getting used to the legal profession, I have to face the fact that my position at my firm is based on a one-year contract. Normally, I wouldn't be worried that my firm would keep me on, but there is a perfect storm of lack of offices, associates not moving on, a partner taking a long (non-billing) leave of absence, and associates asking for raises that leads me to believe my days at my firm will be numbered.
In short, this is grown-up time. I have to work harder, try more, do more, accomplish more. Competing at this level is tough and it is an adjustment for me. But worse is the unknown. I really have no idea what the future holds for me and my daily path is so full of anxiety. But this is what it means to be grown up. I just have to remember that there are lots of people in this race & I need to prove myself every day.
