I had two promising job interviews last week & haven't heard back from either of them. After taking the weekend off, I am back on the hunt today. But there are very few jobs to be found on the usual law boards. This means I must dive back into attending CBA events, meeting law friends for lunch, volunteering at the clinics for ledes. There is a stillness to my life right now, like I am suspended above it watching it go on. I am worried and tired all the time and wonder what my next move should be.
Robert Frost's poem applies to my mood:
I'd like to get away from earth awhile/
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate wilfully misunderstand me/
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return.
Law is about confidence and ability and right now I am shaky on both counts. I try to remember that once I start working I will miss this time for myself, when I could get in a good sweaty hour workout in the mornings and plan out delicious and healthy meals, when I could read and run errands and make appointments without worry about how they fit into the schedule. I am lucky that I have a very supportive husband and a beautiful little spot in the city from which to perch as I continue my search. Still, I am a worker, not a homemaker and I am happiest when my days are full of projects and deadlines.
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