Still Not There

I haven't been updating this blog because I've been hiding from myself. I am still working at the Union, still not really getting the training I need to become a litigator. I have interviewed more than a handful of times but never got the job. I am still looking, looking, looking...but at this point I am not really sure what I want.

How did I go so far off the rails so soon? Everyone else in my life is following their career path, doing the type of work they love. I might as well be folding sweaters at The Gap. And I found out recently that there might not be work for me at The Gap for a few weeks. The good thing about that is I'll have more time to connect with my network and find out who is hiring (I'm thinking family law, maybe I'll go into family law). The bad news is that, with two incomes, we bought a car and adopted two dogs. Our expenses have gone up and our income is about to go down if I'm not working.

Also, I found out that, after our last round of bargaining, my Union negotiated a very, very low pay scale for people in my position. This means that those whose job is to answer the phones, those who never have to stay late and get vacation time, they also get paid about $1000 a month more than me. There is no easy way to say how screwed over I am by my Union's choices. And I am a union representative! Irony, everywhere irony.

I joined a dodgeball team and tonight was our second game. The other team, Double Rainbow, OMG! creamed us. And there were such assholes about it. Who knew you could take dodgeball so seriously? Especially since everyone on the team sported a fake beard?

My life has been a huge suckball this past year, but I am still holding on. The same things that sustained me last year - my marriage, my relationship with my sisters, my friends, they are all still there. And now, I have two cute little doggies! Sometimes I get so disgusted and discouraged that I haven't found my firm yet but mostly I try not to think about it.