And it gets me into trouble. Often with men. I just can't seem to keep silent in school or when in the company of my husband's extended family when someone says something sexist or racist. I try, sometimes. And I do keep quiet sometimes. Like when two of his relatives (one a PhD theology professor who founds and runs Christian colleges) were discussing how much Jesus/God wanted the other one to have expensive cars and high paying jobs. I looked out blankly in the distance and bit my tongue.
But often have to say something. I don't always think it through very well and I have a nasty habit of getting combattive and angry instead of remaining calm. I'm working on that. Anyway, I feel bad because I know my husband has to deal with my words, that the things I say effect him and his relationship to his family. And then I came across this quote:
"When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak." - Audre Lorde
Just.Awesome. It's true that I end up feeling gross whether or not I speak. If I speak, I feel that I haven't represented the issue as well as I should have or could have. If I don't speak, I feel my silence is consent. So, while I still wish to pick my battles more wisely when it comes to things that effect my husband, I am relieved to have run across this quote.
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