I read an article the other day about negotiating salary increases. After reading it, I thought, "F--k. I have never done that." I have never negotiated salary: not when I was babysitting (I don't think I ever even asked for minimum wage or had the thought cross my mind), not in my first few hourly jobs. I took what I was given & was grateful. Full stop.
Even when discussing salary for my current position, I had the embarrassment of low-balling myself. My interviewer told me, after I named my desired yearly salary, that they were actually offering $25,000 above that. With years of experience in the legal field & two degrees, why did I think so little of myself as a worker?
Why do I do this? Why don't I have a higher sense of my own worth? I work really hard & fully devote myself to my work. I love the satisfaction & challenge of work. Why then do I have no legitimate expectations when it comes to my salary? Part of it is fear of rejection during negotiation. Part of it, I'm sure, has to do with being a woman in a patriarchal environment. Men are told to go for it--ask. Assertion & self-confidence = strength. Women are told to be polite. Some women are called-out as too aggressive or domineering when they ask for a raise or promotion.
I don't want to just passively take what is given to me. I want to fight for my value & worth. But I am still sorting through layers of psyche when it comes to being assertive for myself. And I don't even know where to start.
1 comment:
I have the opposite problem, I think I should be getting paid double what I get now. Though come to think of it, I've never asked for a salary increase.
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